To: Sith Dark Lord
Galaxy Far, Far Away
From: Insight Consulting Group
Insight Consulting Group (ICG) is pleased to present our analysis of your five-year strategic plan and planned capital expenditures. Attached is our slide deck summarizing ICGs’ recommendations. The slide deck is visual in nature to support the Empire in its dissemination strategy including reaching Non-English Speaking Bounty Hunters (NESBHs) employed by the Empire.
As illustrated in the slide deck, we have three recommendations for the Empire:
· Storm trooper weapons training.Simulation modelling conducted by ICG indicate that even a modest increase in Storm Trooper accuracy in blaster use could yield big dividends against those pesky rebels.
· Management and leadership training.The empire operates as a classic hierarchical organization. Today’s most successful companies meanwhile are ditching the hierarchy and moving to matrixed or even ‘flatter’ organization structures. Moreover, as Peter Drucker memorably said, “Culture eats strategy for breakfast” and the Empire has a culture that leads to ‘Yes Lord’ rather than disruptive innovation that can be the result of team work approaches stemming from instead “Saying Yes to the Mess”. In some cases, we see that Empire leadership may be justified using Jedi-based Asphyxiation Techniques of Non-Performers. However, it may also be worth the Empire remembering the words of the late Steve Jobs in his Stanford commencement speech, “I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life”. In other words, failure can be a great teacher and shouldn’t be underestimated any more than the power of the Dark Side. So instead of just killing senior leadership, it may be worth getting them to reflect on their mistakes - sometimes this can be the best source of learning.
· Capital Investments. The Empire has consistently gone against the standard investing advice of having a diversified portfolio. The Empire has instead repeatedly sunk a disproportionate amount of its resources in space stations modelled after Dwarf Planets or Moons. While there’s much to be said for planet-destroying space stations Princess Leia was right when she said “The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers”. In other words, the Empire should consider not just destroying planets but winning over hearts and minds through non-military campaigns. Additionally, the absence of a diversified investment portfolio means that the destruction of Death Stars can be catastrophic to the assets of the Empire. In today’s world it’s all about being Lean and Agile- to that end, ICG recommends smaller ships and no more Death Stars. However, if the Empire remains committed to the Death Star project, ICG would be happy to introduce the Empire to one of our engineering partners such as Black & Veatch. Such a firm could make recommendations for how to close venting shafts thereby limiting access to critical systems susceptible to X-wing fighter munitions.
Lead Intergalactic Consultant, ICG